spellcheck yourself before you wreck yourself

I hate capital letters with the intensity of a thousand nuclear bombs. And I don’t really care for punctuation either. And I’m terribly

apologetic, but I searched the deepest recesses of my cleavage and simply could not manage to find a single fuck to give to all you Grammar Nazis out there. I found some stray weed buds, but no fucks. I am so sorry about that.On paper, I can be as eloquent as they come. Electronics on the other hand, are an entirely different story. These fingers of mine can navigate a piano in the dark, but a laptop keyboard in broad daylight is something out of the tenth circle of hell. It’s like my fingers never got the memo that once puberty is over, they could stop being clumsy and awkward.

Never mistake my grammatical errors for idiocy, however. Sometimes my fingers hit the wrong key. Sometimes my computer is spazzing out. Most of the time I just don’t give a shit. If you can understand what I’m trying to say, then shut the fuck up about Oxford commas and semicolons.

Grammar Nazis always ending up looking like dicks because a lot of the people are trolls or bots, a lot of the people are multilingual, and guess fucking what? Some people have better ways of wasting their time than ripping a total stranger a new asshole just because they ended a sentence with a preposition.

The horses you prance around the web on are higher than I am right now. Nobody forces you to read anything. Don’t like what someone said? Or the way that they said it? Then get the fuck out. U mad? They’re, their, there goes all the fucks I don’t give!

Can you find all the errors in this post? Let me know in the comments!

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